This is why I miss my family. My cousin sent me this. A good lesson for all. One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.
As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.
Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up. Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.
Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.
Live simply and appreciate what you have.
Give more.
Expect less.
NOW ............
Enough of that crap . ... The donkey later came back, and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.
MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:
When you do something wrong, and try to cover your a$$, it always comes back to bite you.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Ok re-group. If he's coming over to see you then DB. Throw away what you did a little while ago, no biggie we all have set backs.
Re-do your make up etc etc and be prepared. Perk up, you can do it. Go schedule a massage or something.
I find it weird that he wants to treat you to a b-day lunch but doesn't want the marriage((gag)). He needs a taste of what life without you is going to be like. Wish you could be gone when he comes to see you and have someone say someone took you out to lunch or anything to get his mind wondering why you aren't sitting like a puppy dog waiting for his scraps. Ya know I don't know that H was unhappy for years. Dr. James Dobson says that in their mind they re-write the marriage history to justify everything, so your going to hear all that nonsense. I mean look how long you were married, unhappy people don't stayed married too long. Someone sent me this it's called "reverse babble" I think we can ALL use it when it comes to our spouses. Become indifferent. Example below: You take their own words and use them against them.
Him: "I didn't think you would forget me so quickly" (for taking pictures down) You: "Hey, you've moved on with OW. I'm just reflecting your wishes."
Him: "I don't want to be unhappy in a marriage" You: "Me neither"
OK HE sent me all this info too so I'm gonna share it with ya'll: See below: There's others that have much better examples, but the idea is to show strength.
Yes, weakness is unattractive, but a man will really react to the idea of losing you.
There was a woman on this board who had a husband who left to live with another woman. The man was cake eating. He'd come home to her twice a week to get a home cooked meal and have SF with the wife. But then he'd go to the OW.
She put up with this for a crazy amount of time.
He responded when she upset the balance and tipped the scales in her favor.
How did she do this?
She started acting like she had a life outside of waiting for him. He came home to get his dinner and she didn't have one made. She was dressed to the nines and acted in a hurry to go because of "plans". What were the plans? Going to the library or meeting some girlfriends, but she didn't tell him that.
So every time he saw her she appeared to be ready to go somewhere and looked like a million, as if she was going on a date. He would ask her what she was doing, she would be vague.
She gave him the very real appearance that she was moving on and he was losing her.
She wasn't out doing anything self destructive such as running around with many men. She did give the illusion that she was dating again or putting herself out there.
She sent herself flowers. She no longer begged him to come home. She appeared to be moving on.
She took control.
This shook him. He realized she wasn't going to wait forever for him and she executed like a champ. I wish I could find her link. It was known on this forum as "The Success Story" and it was very inspirational.
I think guys are more vulnerable to this tactic from betrayed wives than wayward wives are to betrayed husbands.
It's something about being male and losing your mate while out doing your thing and acting like an idiot.
Don't let him blame things on you. This is all his fault. So if he starts blaming you for anything, reverse babble.
But understand that you can't reason with him in any way. Waywards are not reasonable. Their reality is created in their own heads. Some wake up after a few months. Some wake up after a few years.
Some even move on and remarry the new love in their lives, but they do so without fixing what they have broken in themselves. So they end up in a new disaster a few years down the road.
So the best thing you can do for yourself is to execute the 180. Start acting indifferent and like you're moving on with your life and I guarantee you'll see results. He wants you to beg and plead. Don't. Start moving on and he will respond to this.
My mother was stuck in the mode of begging for a looooong time. She begged and pleaded.
My dad didn't respond until she got mad, gave him a big Plan FU and started to take control of her own life.
She started to work out like a madwoman, getting in such great shape that she was on the border of being able to compete in fitness competitions.
She started going out with the girls and not waiting around for my dad.
She quit begging.
My dad responded.
He wanted to cake eat and tried to get my mom back, but he'd gone a bridge too far.
She'd had enough and was moving on.
He got really angry and stormed in on the my brother, sis, and I one night. He was upset that we weren't giving my mom grief over the fact that she was out with friends and that there was a guy in their group.
The kids exploded on him. It was the first time he faced the full unrestrained raged of his three kids. He left with his tail tucked between his legs and probably out of fear that my brother and I were standing up to him and were enraged to a point where our anger scared him.
Your kids will want to protect you and the rage they have inside is simmering. It will explode someday on him if this continues. But you have the responsibility as a mom to be strong for them and be aware that it is easy to get into the trap of having your kids try to become your protectors and that they will want to parent you.
The answer is to be indifferent right now and start to move on as if you don't care.
Men WILL respond to this. The idea of "their" woman moving on and dating again will shake them.
Me-38 H-38 Married 18years Daughter-17 & Son-9 Discovery of EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08 Moved in with OW 08/01/08
The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works is the family. -- Lee Iacocca
T2L All I can say is WOW. I thank God that it lead me to your thread. Hitting home, hitting home. I do have to say that I was a step ahead. Makeup on fresh, combed my hair, applied new eyes. Put that stuff on my lips that makes them bigger (something new that I never used lipstick before). I officially have my war paint on. Like the babble, I did use my own version when i told H I was not happy either. It's funny he is out cheating and moving out but he still wants to be the nice guy to me. It might be because he has much to lose financially if I pull the infidelity card in a D. I will look for that thread. Sounds interesting.
Oh, guess who just called. H called on work phone so I have to answer it and not know it was him. He stopped at the house. Get this, asks me "how are you", I said I am fine now. He says, I know this is not easy for you, (duh), I said I had better birthdays before and i know I will have better in the future. He did not respond. I did not tell him I was meeting with C tonight. He is taking D15 to soccer practice -- both ways. I think I will find a noisy bar when he calls at 7:30 about picking up D, just so i can answer the phone and say I am out celebrating. The paragraph about the kids will try to be my protectors, has really hit home. Thanks for knocking me on the head. I need to continue to be strong for my girls, especially my youngest. She will try and be the parent to me and that is bad. Also did your Mom divorce your father? How old were you?? My Dad and Mom were married till he died 2 months short of their 50th anniversary. He was a great Dad and husband. This is why it is so difficult that he is walking out. Also soooo true that they do rewrite the marriage. They have to justify their bad behavior. wish I had a friend like you here in ole Texas!! ;-)
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Hello everyone, I feel so exhausted. At the end of the day, this is my refuge. Although I may not respond to every post, I thrive on reading all of them. They are encouraging and I sleep better at night.
T2L- The kids. They are the #1 motivator through all this. You're so right , we need to stay strong and stand up for good values and morals, cuz our H certainly arent! I say stay strong, but its not to say we cant show our emotions. My kids have seen me cry and anger (mostly cry) plenty of times. We need to teach them they can express their feelings but how to express them in a healthy way. S14 went to T with me last evening (1st visit). Didnt go as well as I hoped. He seemed very anxious, especially when the topic eased from high school to H and our "feelings". He could not or did not want to express how he felt, and we didnt push him. T says H and I communicated poorly and held in feelings which hurt R and kids are learning it from us. Although D11 has no problem expressing her feelings ( alot of anger), S14 and S11 mostly hold back. I have always been concerned about S11 being my "protector". He opens up or defends only when I am upset.The protector role is dangerous because when someone is always doing/caring for others, and not themselves as well, they end up becoming resentful. Has anyone here kids had T sessions, and how did they go?
hope3343- Happy Birthday! I hope it ended well. I dont know what Id do if H asked me out ANYWHERE right now! My birthday was July and H purposely chose not to acknowledge it . I know because he called kids to remind them of my birthday, then spoke with me later that night and questioned me harshly about some items I had given for donation. Then that was it - he just hung up. I was working that night too. So I had every reason to feel sorry for myself! lol.
OK, had 2nd coachbusting with Vernetta. This MLC. As Vernetta puts it, its male menopause. They are high on "drugs" and the OW is their supplier. MLC men tend to be attracted to "messed up" women who "need" him. And a man in MLC has a strong need to feel heroic and appreciated. I have considered myself in the "last resort" stage of DB. Ive already told H I would move on without him and been trying hard to practice last resort behavior, but I think and wonder if I havent been overdoing it a little. Ive rejected some nice gestures from his end For example, he brought our favorite soda to share at a little league picnic and I rejected "no thanks, I drink a different kind now". Or he had planned on one occasion to help cut grass and I said "no thanks, Ill do it myself". These responses on my part probably didnt fill that need to be needed or appreciated. So from now on I will graciously (but not too graciously- dont wanna look "needy!) acknowlege his kind/positive behaviors. It is like a child responds much more positively to his parents who "catch him being good" instead of always catching them when theyre bad. But I am feeling "the end" is near. H as spoke with atty and me about "plans" - had that meeting with him this weekend. Although I had my say, I still feel so lost and confused, and cant help but wonder if he feels the same way. Does he feel he is in "too deep" and theres no turning back with this D and Ill never take him back?or does he feel D will give him the ticket he needs to pursue R with OW without feeling guilty any longer? As mad as I am for what he has done to us and our family ,I cant help but feel some compassion for what may be a terrible inner struggle for him. I had already a while back preached to him about finding happiness within yourself- attitude - resilience. He cried and admitted I was right and he "hated himself". I feel I have a very depressed man on my hands. I only occasionaly see tiny glimpses of the man I once knew. This will be like luring a scared puppy out of a corner. I dont know if it will work or if Ill be able to do it.
Sorry to always be long winded, but I figure if anything, this is my online journal and I can go back and read and reevaluate.
me-36 H-38 S14 S11 D11 married 16yr Oct 17 IDLYA 6-18 H moved out 6-19 H admitted EA(now PA) and asked for D 7-4 H currently consulting with atty
Hi all, JGrind you are right about this blogging, I do go back and go look at other threads for insight. It is like extra therapy we do not have to pay for. I loved what your coach said about male menopause and OW is supplier. Interesting concept and she was right these OW are making them feel strong, appreciated, and heros. I also think that you need to be less willful such as taking the soda even if you dump it out later, and if he offers to do anything around house absolutely have him do it. It is something familiar for H to do and it gives him purpose. Do not give up faith on this. My coach said to stop asking Whys, why do you want to leave, do not control. Do not call SIL since she is part of his side. I was asking if I should try to ignore him while he is still home and at work. She told me treat these last 10 days as if H is living with you as a guest that is staying at your bed and breakfast. You make them comfortable, take care of any requested needs and do not get into their stuff. You make them wonder who you are and start to change the MLC perspective of re-writing history of the marriage. Makes sense but I need to control my hurt and anger.
As for the birthday debaucle yesterday it got better later After one more argument with H about D15 progress report and me saying your leaving will have a negative impact with D and school and everything, I just got over it. I went home and on my steps was a vase of flowers from my sister in CT (God bless her), I brought them in and on the counter was a card from D15 and $100 gift cert. to nail salon (nothing signed by H), I called D left message saying thank you and that I was going out and made plans. I took my sister's card out and left the envelope next to the flowers. H tood D to soccer practice and then went to play flag football. I went to the movies to see "the Women", which I thought was good but was about a cheating husband and women friendships. I drove around a little bit and got home 10:30. Thought for sure H would be sleeping. He was up watching TV in bedroom. Go in and he says "did you have a good time" and I said "Yes, I had a great time" and walk back out. Then the phone rang at 11 and it was D28 calling to check on me. H comes out sees I am on the phone and walks back in room. 10 minutes later H asks who was on the phone..I said D. He says ok, I come back in the room and I am humming, go into the shower and say I am going to bed. H goes in living room and stays up till about 2 am. He kept looking at me and I could see he was wondering. If he asked who sent the flowers, I would tell him, If he asked where I went I would tell him -- but since he didn't it left him wondering. It was a DB moment. Weekend is here and D15 is going to sleepover. Dreading if H is going out and drinking or whatever. I am hanging tight.
Glad we have this board here, keeps my sanity.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
just having a sad lonely night. D is at sleepover, H left to play "pool", not even sure if he will be home tonight. Worrying about the drinking/driving/OW. So hard living here isolated from family. I feel like the only person in the universe. Wish I had a real friend here to come over. I pray tomorrow will be better.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
hey hope, Thanks for reply. Im sorry youre having a tough evening. Im at work tonight. As soon as i get a free moment Im jumping on this thread and reading the others - so addicting, but so needed. OK, so your H still lives under same roof? I just cant imagine. Treat them as houseguests, huh?. My H left the day after he dropped the bomb and he's not stayed at the house since except for coming up with some excuse to stay there with the kids every once in awhile when Im working. As a matter of fact he is there tonight with them. He is such a stranger to me. We see each other so little since he left and when I do I feel so awkward. I actually feel almost violated that he has the nerve to decide to stay at the home he left and isnt even helping to pay for anymore (except $600/mo "child support" based on preliminary calculations by atty).S14 is upset they couldnt go to his dad''s house tonight to spend time with just dad - not OW - he CANT STAND her. Asked if I thought he had good excuse to stay at our house ( he said because he needs to pack some of his NASCAR collectibles). S14 feels like dad is hiding something - interesting. Im sorry you are lonely away from your family. Your Ds sound loving and supportive of you as well as your sister. My biggest family support is my aunt and grandmother. My parents are deaf and although Im fluent in sign language it is still challenging to communicate my feelings- they feel D is the only way because he is an "adulturer". Aunt and grandmother see both sides better. I have no brothers or sisters, so I feel lonely in that respect. But Im glad you went out tonight. I went and saw that movie last weekend by myself when H had kids, then went shopping for MYSELF (eventhough I didnt really have the money, but oh well) Sound like you didnt care for movie? And we would have to pick THAT one! I liked it OK. Loved how Meg's character GAL - sort of left me feeling empowered. Joined a gym and scheduled myself with a personal trainer for strenth training and scheduled my first kickboxing class. Made sure to write them clearly on the calendar, knowing H will be there tonight. He called me here at work tonight. Wanted to know what Ill be doing for twins birthday next weekend ( he will be at his high school reuinion the whole time). Spoke about S11 baseball team (H is coach) and the OW's crazy H still harrassing them. H forwarded me 2 emails from him and wanted to know what I thought. My real thought was "you guys deserve it!", but really, I told him that behavior is uncalled for - its not helping either side - and it is having a negative effect on the kids as he is using them as a weapon. I have not once been vindictive toward H or OW, so I wont support her H being vindictive. Im better than that. But I worry that I may look accepting of my H and OW R. OK so Ill be up all night, everyone is probably sleeping ,but Ill check back in case. Going to find some success story threads. I need a boost.Tommorrow is a new day and another chance. (((((hugs)))))
______________________
me 36 H 38 S14, S11, D11 married 16yr Oct 17 IDLYA 6-18 H moved out 6-19 H confessed EA(now also PA) and asked for D 7-4 H currently consulting atty - Im anxiously waiting to be "served"
Hi jgrind, it was such a rough night. Appreciate your input. I was really overcome with stress/sadness/and absolute pain in my heart... H came home about 5 am. drinking but not drunk and proceeded to talk to me to about 6 am. Still has not told D he is moving end of the month. Keeps talking about how the girls will hate him. This is sooo stupid. I don't even want to stay in this house -- it is like a funeral. He was saying his new place is going to be very small (500+ square feet) like I am supposed to be sorry. I am jealous he gets to just walk out and I have to stay here and be the "grownup" while he finds himself. He did mention that I have been "nice" to him but he will see how it is later (meaning when he asks for Divorce), then he will see how I am. He said you know we can do a D with just one lawyer and mediator -- as long as we agree. So I tell him -- that's right, I understand you are unhappy, but instead of working on the marriage -- you go out and have an A, then we go to a counselor to work on the marriage and instead you use it to tell me "we are over and I hurt you too much" and now you want me to go along with a D and "be fair". I told him in Tx there is fault divorce, and if this is what he wants, then I need to see what my own atty for advice. Since he made these choices, I have to protect myself, which is fair to me. He did not like it and was upset but I want him to understand how a D will affect him both financially and stress wise.
Well we get up this morning and he asks me to go to breakfast! We went out to Ihop and he compliments me on losing weight (20 and counting), and we talk about an old vacation etc. I asked a couple questions about his new apt, washer/dryer (since I don't plan on him washing his clothes here), etc, just to act like I am interested and he says I will bring you over there one day (this is under suggestion of coach to be friend). It actually went well -- now of course he went to get money and cigs (I am sure he is calling ow)
I haven't spoke too much with family and friends about situation, since like your parents will tell you how wrong. I need to make my own decision on this as it unfolds. So your H comes over and stays -- I think you have to use that as a positive. Do you own the house together and if so why is he not 1/2 responsible for the mortgage unless you are getting the house. My H is going to pay 1/2 mort/ins/taxes on both house and lot we bought last year. That figure comes to $2100/month with D's expenses. I don't think it will hit him for about 2/3 months since he never had to live on a budget before. He is in lala land with finances, but if he wants 1/2 profit with house when we sell he has to pay now, can't afford by myself even though I don't make a bad pay being sv. eng.
Do not feel awkward in your own home seeing H. Use as an opportunity of what he is missing. We need to stop being victims here. Ask him for help with the mowing, or some household repair that maybe S would help him with. Get him involved in his old life. I am already thinking about what I am going to ask H to do when he moves. Want H to participate in our life and maybe miss it - maybe not. When H comes around do you do your hair/makeup? I NEVER did on the weekends but this morning I looked in the mirror and felt like hell, fixed my hair, and put makeup on - but H noticed. As for OW and her H -- just keep telling your H that maybe he should go to police and then change the subject. Don't get into his drama. Also with the OW H being so crazy is there any risk to your kids with them going there? Something to consider with H. We both have many years invested in this. Lets see how it plays out. I have to believe that God is working on both of our H's. He is knocking and hopefully they will open that door and listening. I know everytime I try and "fix it" I make it 100x worse. I need to step back and GAL. Also I was impressed with you putting on the calendar for H to see about your gym/kick boxing. Good DB - also wonder what your S alluded about that H is hiding something? hmmm I did really like "The Women", but of course I was crying during it. Meg was strong and hopefully we will get the same results. I loved the D in it and how she gave the OW a hard time. She was great. I could see my D doing something like that. too much. Take care Want to thank everybody for their support. This will be hell week next 9 days and counting.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Hi Hope! Im at work again tonight (hence 4am)Hey, by the way, where is everyone? I hope you're having a better day today. Hang in there. H moving out may be a really good thing. I initally hated it, but eventhough I miss H very much, the physical separation has allowed me to focus on myself without being distracted by him. The downside of course is having to shoulder extra responsibility for the kids and work around the house. The kids help cut grass and little things, but you're right, I need to call on H more often when things need getting done. Why should I shoulder EVERYTHING he left behind? Its just encouraging him to run from his responsibilities even more. It does make you feel jealous and resentful, and I plan to find more excuses and days for him to take the kids so I can be a little free to "find myself" too. It should be a win- win for me and the kids (as long as he doesnt have OW around) because they miss their dad so much.
OK, as far as the house, we own together. When H asked for D on 7-4, he said he would not leave me "high and dry" and would let me have the house and everything in it except for his collectibles (NASCAR model cars ,posters, and stock car tires dont fit in with the overall decor of the house anyway. lol) He also said he'd pay half our credit card balance . The last of his paychecks was deposited into our account 8-31, but he is going to pay $600/mo "child support". The house is 5yr old and nice neighborhood, but high maintenance. He's been frustrated with it, and with the poor housing market, I wouldnt be surprised to take a loss on it. So real generous of him to give me the house. I talked with atty Friday she says each party should pay toward mortgage either based on who is primary resident (I would pay 75% and he would pay 25%) OR we would pay based on our incomes (me 51% him 49%). I guess it depends on judge. If TX is a "fault" , you'd be crazy not to consult your own atty. MO is a "no fault" state, so A and even the fact that he is doing it in front of kids will have little bearing on any judges decision unless he is a chronic, repeated adulterer. So until the house is officially in my name, I will demand additional financial help from him, but it will probably push him to have his name taken off the loan very quickly, then what? I think I can afford to pay on my own, as long as I receive child support. I may not even have to increase my hours (I work avg 30hr/week) Ill just have to cut back on some extras. And being a nurse , there's always opportunity to pick up extra shifts if needed. I am just concerned about credit card balance - I want that paid up asap. Im the one who always handled the finances, I have excellent credit scores, so If I have to refinance mortgage in my name I hope to get similar rate (currently 5.5%) Funny, since I know exactly how much H nets/mo, I kind of figured what his bills would be per month, including child support and estimated he would have only $600/mo left to pay his house rent (I dont know what it is ) and any "extras", you know, like beer, chew, and a good time here and there. hee hee. But Im sure OW is helping in some way - D11 says she buys alot of groceries and "cooks and bakes cakes for daddy all the time". Funny, my H rarely likes to eat sweets as long as Ive known him. Did your H voluntarily offer to pay half of mortgage and taxes, or did you insist? I need to learn to be stronger and take a stand.
Yes, I always make sure hair and make up is done.And lost 20lb since he left 6-19, but its not good. Im 5'7" and now only 110lb. Lot of friends family concerned about my physical wellbeing,just unable to eat. I tried, but made me sick. Im getting better, though. Trying to eat healthy and drinking ensures for extra calories. H told me a couple times I look terrible - too skinny - but "dont get me wrong, you're a beautiful woman, you just need to take care of yourself". GEE, thanks for your concern. Sounds like you are purposely trying to lose wt - how are you doing it? 20lb so far? Go girl!
As far as OW's H. My H did phone police on one occasion and advised I do same because he doesnt want "that freak around my kids". I spoke my concern about possible danger and the need to keep kids out of it. He apologized for making it sound like he was only concerned about kids safety and not mine. I told him I DID take it that way and I not appreciative for us being in middle of this, but kids do not feel threatened by OW's H-they like him! Remember, we've been playing ball for at least 5 years. I can't legally keep kids from going over to H place. But I call to check on them every evening and/or they call me. It is very disturbing though.
Keep your head up. You seem very wise and experienced, and it's been about 1 month longer for me than you!We take a few steps back at times, but we cant always know how to do something right unless we do it wrong the first time around. Yes, God is working on them as well as us- God's working on a marriage. "What God has put together, let no man put asunder". And consider this quote I found on another thread : "He put 15 years into our marriage before he gave up, so Im certainly not going to give up after 3 months. "
Hey T2L, hope your weekend went well. Shout out to you??? Jgrind, looks like twinhope and marisol are gone for the weekend but where is t2l? I know how easy it is to get down on ourselves. The rest of the weekend was quiet. H stayed home on Saturday night and today he took D to religious school and then came home. I was a little overwhelmed again, saying how he is leaving us. He wanted to tell D's today but I suggested he wait till towards end of next week so D won't be messed up at school for 5 days. This will be week from hell. Then H came to church with D and me. I can't figure him out. I did tell him that I pray for him and pray for our family every day so maybe he is trying to catch up. too too much. When H told me he wanted to leave, I told him I am staying in the house as not to disrupt our D any more than she had to. I told him he to pay 1/2 the bills and he can get 1/2 the profit when we sell when she gets out of school (almost 3 years). He agreed but grumbled a little bit when he saw how much it would cost him. But we bought the lot next door also last year so that was an additional 200 month for him also. too bad. Your right JGrind...get tough, my problem is that I am controlling and prone to anger so I am working on that, I think your H would like you to take a stand. I think you were too nice to him before. Remember do something different than you normally do. I need to lose another 40 pounds, even though all of my marriage I have been overweight. I am only 5.2 so every pound shows. Wish I could be 5.7! Well I am going for a walk. I think H is staying home to watch Dallas game tonight. I am also thinking of going to an Alnon meeting, with all this drinking going on. Who is my H? I thought I knew -- he is like a stranger. Like the quite about 15 years of marriage. How true. We are just so impatient. take care.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
