Thanks everyone for checking in on me, I had a great time with the kids yesterday at the picnic, brought 3 little ones home at 6:30 pm and my D9 and I stayed to closing, drank to much, but I wasn't driving, a lot of friends were there, people from church, was a great time. W never showed up, called said she had other things to do, she took kids to soccer games today so I got some stuff done at the house.

Why is this so hard, I'm just don't understand why this is happing to me, why God, I don't understand, why do I love her so much ?

John Mayer - Dreaming with a broken heart

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part
You roll outta bed and down on your knees
And for the moment you can hardly breathe
Wondering was she really here?
Is she standing in my room?
No she's not, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The giving up is the hardest part
She takes you in with your crying eyes
Then all at once you have to say goodbye
Wondering could you stay my love?
Will you wake up by my side?
No she can't, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....


This song sums up my life right now, I am dreaming with a broken heart, and giving up is very hard. I hurt soo bad still, wow will it ever end. I just don't understand, I have to move on but it's hard. I really did love my W with all my heart.

W41
M10.75 years
D9, D6, D6, S5
OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me
WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08
W files for D 07/18/08
Date I'll forgive W for A = never