Originally Posted By: lodo
But, my point is, she's coming out of this as the golden girl. Success after success in the eyes of our co-workers. And this has been happening since the day she moved out. Meanwhile I've been a wreck. It's okay, I'm getting over all that now, but I hate feeling put in a position of comparison. I feel like people are saying, "I can see why she D'ed him." And maybe that's just my state right now, I don't know. And it'd probably be better if I went somewhere else. Eventually.

Thinking aloud, but I do need to rein in that inner voice that has been awfully critical these past few months and remind it that there are a lot more positive topics it could be running through my head.


lodo,

I had TONS of problems with that at first. I kept REPLAYING all the sh!t my exW said over and over and over and over. I kept thinking... What IF she IS right? I made myself crazy!!!

When the dust settled and I was in a more lucid state, I did look at myself at a deeper level. I saw more of my flaws as a H. I realized almost all of what she said was intended to push me away and hurt me. She was NOT honestly sharing her feelings. I really think she was feeling so much pain she thought pushing me away was the solution...

I have a suggestion for you. When you get into that state of "I can see why she D'ed him."...... I want you to do something to change your state of mind.... Have something else positive you picked to think about to get you out of it. I would imagine my new wife and I having a romantic dinner at my favorite restaurant overlooking the city.... I would imagine what she would be wearing..... I would think about the engaging conversation we would have..... I would think about she and I cuddling in the car as we drive home.... I would imagine exploring her body with my tongue... I would ponder all of things we do all night... This created some very strong emotions for me...

In the end, what I would humbly suggest is faking it until you make it... Act happy.... It sounds crazy..... But, it works..... The funny thing is when I was in the lowest valleys, I would do this.... It is interesting to see how people react to you.... Happy people send out attractive vibes......

Take Care,

RMG

Last edited by RMG; 09/21/08 05:06 PM.
"The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before." from "Good Will Hunting"