What still kills me is that we were friends with the OM and his wife. In fact I considered him a good friend and fellow sportsfan and would go to Sportsbars with or watch sports at each others houses. The wives were friends as well. This went on for a couple of years or so. Not unique I guess from reading the stories, but what I still can't get my head around is how can the Cheating spouse put their spouse in continued contact with the OM/OW, bring them over to the family house, pretend to be friends, interact with them etc.....basically humiliating them without them even knowing about it.

My wife said she had no intention of leaving but the relationship spiraled out of control into a emotional and sexual affair. OK that part I get, but why continue to allow OM to come over, attend dinners with his wife, act as friends, go out to bars/resturants etc...all the while both betrayed spouses thought we were all friends?

Do they get some sick thrill out of humilating their spouses without them knowing about it? Do they exchange knowing glances at each other, pat each others butts while thier spouses are looking the other way?

Thats the part I still have not recovered from and probably never will. The OM is no longer our friend obviously and any other friends that still associate with them are no longer my friends no matter what their excuse is or how long their were friends with the other couple before us.

How many others were caught in the friend-zone with the cheating couple and their betrayed spouses and didn't know and it was allowed to continue until D-Day?

Couldn't she just find a co-working Soulmate instead of a mutual friend Soulmate??? I use the word Soulmate loosely of course.