I agree with everything Trixi said...it is very noble of you to say "you want the best for her"...BUT...what is really best for her and your children is for the two of you to figure out how to keep your family together. Someone posted something here...I think it was maninmotion maybe the following quote:
Why are the children of divorce so resilient? Because their parents need them to be.
In other words...we tell ourselves the children will be fine, but divorce affects them for years to come. I find it interesting that all the issues my H has in his life and how he handles things go back to him having BIG issues with his parents divorce and the fallout of their custody battle. It sounds to me like your kids are also having a really hard time with things.
John, you truly don't know what your wife is thinking...I wouldn't put undue pressure on her, but I would certainly find a way to subtley let he know the door is still open. In the meantime...work on yourself....REALLY think about how you might do things better in the future if given the chance. That way if she does start warming up to you, you already have a gameplan and a strategy for making things work once and for all. Also, don't forget your own happiness...afterall your lack thereof is what got you here so it's something you shouldn't overlook.
