That is very noble of you to want her to be happy first. And maybe she *can't* be happy with you (I dunno.)

BUT BUT BUT
Did you know that they did a poll of married people and that X percentage said they were very unhappy. 5 years later, the same people were polled. The ones that stayed married rated them selves happy to very happy. The people that got a divorce weren't as happy. (I think that;s how it goes, I'll try to find the poll and post it.)
You children deserve an intact family. Your wife might THINK CT guy is "the thang" right now. But since you haven't actually communicated, who knows. Your wife could be crying at night because she thinks you have moved on and don't miss her. She might feel like her ONLY option is CT guy.

I agree with CW that you will be hopping back into the frying pan you jumped out of (unless she has changed), but on the other hand, you don't know what your W is thinking.

Me-43
H-46
M 12 yrs 7/09
T 15
2 grown kids
bomb 7/05/07
H moved out 8/04/07
11/22/09 told him I quit;let's get ball rolling
Mid Dec- he isn't sure he wants D
End 2/2010-Starting to consider piecing