This is the second time my wife and I separated. The first time it was at her request...this time at mine. I have made a big mistake! I use DB to get back together last time but this time is way different. She has taken my 2 boys and moved to her mothers 800 miles away. She also has a boyfriend that my kids call their Connecticut dad. I don't know where to start or if I should. I spent last weekend in CT with my boys and a couple of hours with her. It was friendly but just barely. They drove me to the airport which was very emotional . When I returned home she called and said she would not do it again (take me to the airport). I can't be calling her because I don't want to seem needy....but I am. I just don't know what to do!
Me 49 W 38 M 12 T 16 Sep Mar 9 2008 2 Boys 7 and 10
My wife is a very outspoken person (she like to yell) We were not commumicating no sex...Instead of working at it I thought I would be better alone. I'm not .I miss the kids and wife, we were together for 16 years.
Me 49 W 38 M 12 T 16 Sep Mar 9 2008 2 Boys 7 and 10
((John)) that sucks- but you can do this. Re-read DB and start to GAL. Probably as long as the boyfriend is in the picture, it will be hard to make an impact because she is in "the fog."
In the meantime, you can work on yourself. You need to find 'John' again. When the bloom starts to fade with this relationship she has in CT, you want to be a fantastic option for your W to consider. In some ways, I think some time between 'sightings' is good because then the changes made are perceived as more dramatic. (you know, like when you see a child for the first time in a year- the change is so much more noticable than if you see them day to day.)
Start rebuilding your self confidence. It's not over yet. You just need to regain your balance.
Me-43 H-46 M 12 yrs 7/09 T 15 2 grown kids bomb 7/05/07 H moved out 8/04/07 11/22/09 told him I quit;let's get ball rolling Mid Dec- he isn't sure he wants D End 2/2010-Starting to consider piecing
Interesting...that's exactly why my H left me....I am also outspoken, we had no communication...no sex. We were together for 15 years...also separated before. How long have you been separate this time? Right after you left did she try and get you to come back or has she been pretty "done" since you took off?
We have been together 16 years separated for 6 Months. She tried once to seduce me but I told her I could not be recreational with her. I ask her once about 3 months ago to try again ... she said there was to much hurt and we have to move on and enjoy the rest of our lives.
Me 49 W 38 M 12 T 16 Sep Mar 9 2008 2 Boys 7 and 10
John...you are a man of very few words. I need some more info here...what made you realize you made a mistake? What was event, epiphany, occurrence that made you realize you wanted to make it work with your wife and what have you done to try and persuade her?
I haven’t done anything to try and persuade her. Just the one time I asked her to try again. That was in July. That's why I'm here....I don't know how to start with the distance involved. When I was with her last weekend I relieved how much I was missing in my life w/o my family.
Me 49 W 38 M 12 T 16 Sep Mar 9 2008 2 Boys 7 and 10
