Need help dealing with things

[determinedinTx]

I have read DR, just within the past week, however, haven't really had a chance to put much of it to work because he has been out of town and due to the hurricane, our cell service has been sporadic, plus I have been trying really hard not to contact him. His meds are not under control, because he doesn't feel that he needs them. He tells me that I am the one that triggers his bipolar episodes because he can only handle so much... My mom lives with us, I am careful about talking about things with her because, obviously she has her own opinions about what I should do. I have to realize that this is my decision and I can't make the same mistakes that she made in her marriage with my dad(he remarried her 1st cousin who was like a sister to her growing up), because I see it only made her miserable, but that is a whole different painful story. I have fallen into the trap of following him, checking his emails, etc., which is how I found out he was cheating on me, but I cannot let it rule my life. I have to let go and figure out where to go from here.

I realize that I have a BIG problem with any man who shows me any kind of attention, falling hard, if you know what I mean. I did that once, the 1st time H moved out, and I cannot allow that to happen again. I don't really have any friends that I can go out with or GAL with because they all have their own families and do not live close. I guess that is one thing that I have allowed to happen is for him to alienate me from my friends. I am back in contact with them, but they don't live in the same town I do. I've never really had "a lot" of friends.