Jimi...I hate to tell you this, but it is only confusing to you, because you are inside the picture. Those of us outside the picture can see very clearly what is going on.
You said: "Either way I plan on confronting her either tomorrow or the day after. I want her to know I love her, I miss her, I have enjoyed our time together greatly and I KNOW she has too, and that I need her to explain to me... clearly and without any crapping around.. WHY she has made such an extreme about turn in the space of three days. I feel it is absolutely reasonable for her to tell me the truth of the situation and stop diddling and faffing around with non-starter comments like 'I love you but love is not enough' or 'I just need space'"
OK here this shows that you are operating under the assumption that SHE knows HERSELF what she is doing and why.
But WAW's, MLC's, and any person who has waywardly left their family....are CONFUSED and they themselves do not know why they are doing anything, why they chose this or that, why they left, why they came back, why they left again. That is why people refer to it as a "fog".
You demanding some answers for her behavior as you have stated above, is only going to get a confused look from her. SHE DOESN'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO THOSE QUESTIONS.
Did you read what I suggested you say to her? What did you think about it, if you did read it?
You seem to be avoiding direct suggestions sometimes, and we really are trying to help you. Many of us are coming from experience or lots of knowlege about affairs and how they happen, the symptoms, etc. You, unfortunately, are a novice in these ideas...we are all sad you had to learn anything about them at all, in the way you have had to learn them. But nevertheless, you are a novice in affairs and the things that happen. Why not listen a little more openly to what some of us have been saying all along, and all along most of the things we warned you about have now happened? I'm not meaning to bash on you, I realize it is very hard to hear and believe what we are saying, because you WANT to still believe that this woman is still the woman you were married to...you think that you "know" her and how she thinks, and you are relying on that knowledge to help you make choices. Unfortunately, that knowledge no longer applies to your situation, due to her "fog". But here we are...with knowledge that can help you...if you will learn, listen, and apply it.
