The thing is... around 6 weeks into dating me she told me this:
"I have made my decision. I want you. I do not love the OM and it is over. Do you think I would have gotten so involved with you if I hadn't thought this through?" (All her words)
and...
"I am committed to you 100%"
Those are her exact words. Amazing isn't it. After nearly four months of complete seperation she says that... but she DIDN'T SHOW IT. That's WHY I became clingy, in need of reassurances, etc. The rest we know... she performs a complete 180 and leaves me high and dry.
Anyway.. she then rings two days after her 180 and asks if "I am ok" and agrees she MIGHT have made a mistake but needs space to think.
Since then I have acted BEAUTIFULLY towards her. Bought her flowers on her birthday, spoken and joked on the phone, etc. All that... BUT NOT INSTIGATED ANY CONTACT. She has phoned me to thank me for the flowers and phoned another day for child arrangements (but engaged in a nice chat... which I ended).
Since then, yesterday and so far today, NOTHING.
Anyway... what I am trying to say is that I have been giving her this 'space' she asked for and acting normally. Yet I know we are at odds because I think that when she refers to 'space' she actually means 'some indefinate period' whereas in my mind, and she is unaware of this because I have acted okay about things, I think 'space' means a week or so to reflect on her actions.
That is why I am saying I want to confront her... because I think she feels that I am HAPPY to just wait around. Either that.. or she is feeling happy I am out of the picture again (and that is extremely painful... but I think it may be true at the moment)
Either way I plan on confronting her either tomorrow or the day after. I want her to know I love her, I miss her, I have enjoyed our time together greatly and I KNOW she has too, and that I need her to explain to me... clearly and without any crapping around.. WHY she has made such an extreme about turn in the space of three days. I feel it is absolutely reasonable for her to tell me the truth of the situation and stop diddling and faffing around with non-starter comments like 'I love you but love is not enough' or 'I just need space'
In my mind, if she cannot give me answers, I want to let her know I am through hanging around.
I admit, the situation NOW is different to January (the BIG split). NOW she wants to 'be friends' even if the worst happens... she says she doesn't want "things to be awkward between us". I find that incredible to contemplate. I think what she means is "I want to know you are there if I need you"
I aint being her lapdog anymore. I am MORE than that.
A mutual friend, who has never agreed with her actions and decisions regarding the marriage, phoned her today. I spoke to her afterwards. She said when she spoke my wife sounded very jovial and in good spirits. She told this friend about the flowers I had bought her. Again... confusing picture at best.
