Ready2Change (7) - Two Lives

[Gypsy]

Hey Ready..

It all sounds very neat how you're creating time with your kids. Thanks for sharing about missing the kids, did the tears help? I find I will be open emotionally then clam up and stuff it all down.. it cycles. Know you are loved.

One thought.. it sounds like you're doing the opposite of many things that your wife instituted. Is that because you never agreed with her, because you feel it's better for the kids or you want to be totally different?

I'm relearning how to parent with this change. Stuff I never would allow, I do. I've had to bend and learn when to stand firm. It gets easier with time though the underlying ache within my heart about the family being shredded often compelled me to give in where before I'd stand firm. Things are beginning to balance out.

Here's a story for you!

When my youngest was two, her older brothers (ages 6 and 10) thought it would be hilarious to teach her how to fart on command. My curl tousled sweetie learned quickly and would toddle over to her father, turn around, bend slightly and let out a squeaker. The boys got a big laugh out of it. The more they laughed, the more she did it to others.

One day they looked at me. "Mom, why aren't you yelling at us to stop doing this?" I returned their gaze with a smile and a twinkle and replied, "Because you are the ones who will teach her how to stop." They looked at me befuddled and went on having a great time.

Two years down the road, the boys would yell at her, disgusted by her musically gaseous emissions. She kept going because she was well taught. Although they probably never remembered our dialogue, it was a sweet quiet moment as they had to work hard to undo what they created.

*hugshugshugs for all*

Yer pal

[Ready2Change]

One thought.. it sounds like you're doing the opposite of many things that your wife instituted. Is that because you never agreed with her, because you feel it's better for the kids or you want to be totally different?

I believe the kids need balance. My W yells at the kids all the time (not in anger). I prefer quitely asking them things. I yell once "kids come here" then we have a quite discussion....Different parenting styles.

..When my youngest was two, her older brothers (ages 6 and 10) thought it would be hilarious to teach her how to fart on command. My curl tousled sweetie learned quickly and would toddle over to her father, turn around, bend slightly and let out a squeaker. The boys got a big laugh out of it. The more they laughed, the more she did it to others.One day they looked at me. "Mom, why aren't you yelling at us to stop doing this?" I returned their gaze with a smile and a twinkle and replied, "Because you are the ones who will teach her how to stop." They looked at me befuddled and went on having a great time. Two years down the road, the boys would yell at her, disgusted by her musically gaseous emissions. She kept going because she was well taught. Although they probably never remembered our dialogue, it was a sweet quiet moment as they had to work hard to undo what they created.

Great story!!!

[Gypsy]

Hey R2C..

That rhymes with 'watusi'.

Hmmmmm.. very interesting.

Have fun with the kids and the trampoline.

*hugs*

[Ready2Change]

Hi Gypsy, Thanks.

Found out today a friend had breast cancer...

Looking for some prayers.....

[Gypsy]

I'm in...

[No Longer BH]

Ready, I am so glad that you are getting this time with them and lots of kisses and hugs are the best things in life. You are sounding so strong these days. How are you doing?

And of course you know I am in for sending kind thoughts your friend's way. Take good care of yourself and your babies!

[smartcookie]

((Ready))

I'm sorry to hear about your friend. Count me in on the prayers.

I love reading about your feelings for your kids. It heals my heart to know that there are fathers like you in the world. *tears*

Please keep sharing those tender thoughts.

Last night, amidst an attempt to converse with H, S9 came in & was scared. He had remembered an image he'd seen earlier in the day on TV. (stupid commercials for scary movies) Anyway, he asked me to lay next to him while he fell asleep. I whispered in his ear over & over, that he was safe, that I was right there, & wouldn't let anybody or anything hurt him. I kissed his eye lids, & stroked his hair.

I suppose that's what I wish H would have done for me.

I hope you have a great day. hugs

[Ready2Change]

Hi ladies! Thank you so much for stopping by and your prayers for Mirium.

I am at a good point right now. The space and growth is great for me.

Scookie, Thanks for sharing how to be a mom. I need to be mom while W is not with the family. Keep the ideas coming....I will keep sharing my feelings....

*HUGS*


R2C (Watusi)

[Ready2Change]

Hi all,

Just a quick bit of my humor:

Wife hasn't spoken or looked at me much over the past few months. Mostly avoiding me and holding in all the anger.

Anyway, she said to me tonight:

"Well one of us is still considerate in this relationship"

I took that to be ME

I am sure she meant her based on her tone and actions....

This is also the first time (since the bomb) she has admitted that we have a relationship.

Just got to keep a sense of humor!

[No Longer BH]

Well, at least you can laugh. That is more than alot of people in your sitch can say. Good for you for seeing the positive.

You have done some much soul searching and have peace in your life. Your W has to find her own way in her own time. You have been a wonder friend to many of us, so thank you for that. Keep on smiling and seeing the positive in life!