Been there, heard that. Isn't it interesting we're the ones to whom they vent. They create this mess for themselves and then call us to rant about what a mess their life is.
Mine has done much the same in the past couple of months. She is broke, exhausted, stressed out, etc. Whenever some large unexpected bill (some like her legal bill, the direct result of D) comes her way she calls me to fuss about it. Ironically it is only within the last 6 months that X no longer sees me as the enemy, as I have done none of the things she feared I would.
Protect yourself. Be understanding but not enabling (something I may be guilty of myself). Learn to listen to the vent without taking it personally. If you engage him angrily (hanging up?) you make yourself the focal point of his anger and become the enemy, not a friend to whom to vent.
He may very well apologize later. Mine does now and that is a new development.
I believe how we respond to them during this time is what will determine whether they will feel safe to return to us when they come through this.
We're not required to take them back, of course, but having that option would be nice.
Last edited by sleeper; 09/20/0806:13 PM.
"Fear is the mind-killer" Muad'Dib Me 53, XW 44, DD 14, DS 12 Bomb and OM 12/15/06 Separated 01/02/07 Divorced 05/13/08 X married OM(OMH) 08/2009 Married 06/09/13
