He already knows you love him. Why are you making this HIS decision?
After cheating on you now FOUR TIMES, this now needs to be YOUR decision, and HE needs to know that.
Your friends love you, and want to see both of you out of pain. However, they are WRONG on this one. Your husband is an addict at this point -- addicted to OW, and to indecision -- and telling him you love him, and are there for him, and asking him what HE wants to do, and pursuing him . . .
It's simply not going to work. If you don't believe ME, or anyone else on here, then believe how well that's worked the last three times you've tried it with him.
