Emotions are at the front of all of the actions of the MLCer. They feel lost and trapped in the marriage. They also usually have a lot of depression and often a lot of things that have gone unsaid bottled up inside them. They then take all of these negative things that are in their minds and project it on to us.
They recreate their past in such a way that think all their time with us is/was bad. Where as their time before us was great. As time goes by people in general tend to think of their past as being much better than it was. That is why people always talk of the "Good old Days"
Then in their state of depression and negative thought about their lives, they go out find friends that validates this thinking and encourages them to act on these feelings so they leave.
After they have left, it does not bring the relief that they are looking for. They still have the depression, their life is still not what they want it to be in that they still have stresses of their job and life in general. Plus now, they have hurt the people that they love and they have to carry that burden too.
In your case, your H's best best friend has died. Now he has the emotions of that to deal with. If this friend was his source of validation and support, he has also lost that.
It's a good thing that he is reaching out to you. Validate his feelings. Understand that he is going through pain. Above all be his friend and be good to him.
M35 W37 S9 D6 M12 yrs Know 15 yrs Bomb 1/28/07 My Sitch Failure is the opportunity to start again more intelligently - Henry Ford
