YOU are doing such an amazing job. There is a reason folks say that piecing is the hard part. It's the "ever after" part that the fairy tales conveniently end with after they ride off into the sunset...
We've been back together for over a year now. Still-- I triggered when he had to go work in *her* town last week. Recent events have caused many old "friends" to call and inquire as to our well being. I know he isn't leaving. But dammit, I don't want him to call or answer-- I want to erase her. (he didn't, i know it, but this turns out not to be the point)
So, the other morning I felt horrible. I've been trying to find words of advice or encouragement for so many I care about that are in so much pain. I just wanted to wake up one flippin' morning and not think about *that time*. (and i do, and i have, i just don't remember so well what DIDN'T happen). anyway.
I logged on and saw YoYo's gratitude journal and read the posts. They were so heartfelt and poignant... I was suddenly grateful for the birds in the trees and salt in the salt shaker. Then I realized something else. I'm grateful for where we've been. I'm lucky I still have to try so hard. I'm grateful I have another chance with the tools and support that all of you have given me. I don't want to take this life for granted ever again.
So... while you're creating happy, there is a balance between feeling safe (and not REacting to the initial emotional triggers), but not so safe that you stop working and creating. I think you've found it BobbiJo and you should be really, really proud of yourself.
