You are both at the most vulnerable period in this journey. I so understand your vulnerability and your questioning. What you are feeling, and how you are viewing life at this point is very different than what you will KNOW 5 years out. Please think about what I am saying. Oh sure, there are some people who probably will never be happy, but they were probably never ever happy with their life even before their spouse walked out. Some people spend their whole life restless and searching, never knowing true contentment. Surround yourself with people who matter. People who will bring you up when you're down and be a soft place to fall when you need one.
Lodo, you married your wife for all of the right reasons. You married her for love. Just because the love that was given to her was not cherished and nutured does not mean love for you is not meant to be. Putting yourself back out there takes time. Right now, it's scary. What I do want you to know is that as time goes on the fear fades, the pain fades, and we start to live again. Unfortantely the only other alternative is a self-centered life.
The worst thing that can happen to any of us is to cut ourselves off and become bitter. Money means nothing if you don't have someone to love and to share the joys in life with. Believe me, I wouldn't have said this 5 years ago, but I also would never want to be that same sad and defeated person. People who stay stuck, are very unhappy people. Oh I know they try to paint a rosy picture, but it's really nothing more then smoke and mirrors. If you still want to find yourself at the top of a mountain, or at the edge of the ocean, then that tells me you still want to be a part of something greater.
From what you've written I know that you are a pretty sincere and lving man. Just by the way you handle your situation makes that very clear to see. As far as your pain goes feel it, heal it and move on. Maybe I'm just one of those people that should choose the lobotomy since I would rather choose to live an unselfish life with joy and love.
Now it sounds to me like you have been challenged by Smartcookie. I don't know about you but she sounds pretty confident to me....good luck with this one!
