I was unfaithful

[SirPrizeMe]

Whoa, Max.
Of course you feel pissed off.
but I have to tell you, IT IS PAR FOR THE COURSE.

In their heads they are re-arranging all the chess-pieces of life to fit their reality. The reality is, they want out of the marriage (for now). It would make them feel so much better if you felt the same way, if you went off and found happiness without them. This would excuse their flight from the marriage.

The same thing applies to filing for divorce. Lots of them want to instigate it, but don't have the guts to file. They want the left-behind person to file. They goad them into doing it, so they can feel like "this was a mutual decision" or "My husband filed, he obviously felt the marriage was over. I agree."

They all say the same words! Your husband is just imagining a time when you are off with someone else. If he were truly concerned with the assets, he would have said "so YOU cannot touch them later. He would not have said "you and your boyfriend."

My wife said the same thing, while we were still in the house together. She was setting me up, in her head, on dates with her friends.

I can understand you being upset. Who wouldn't be? But this is just par for the course.

If you believe "HE is not a guy to play games" and that he really means it, then it will be true. If you follow his suggestion and get a boyfriend then his reality will become true.

Your choice.

There will be lots of this stuff. Prepare yourself. There will be a day when he drops the blame for all the problems in his life at your doorstep, explicitly. If he has not done so already. When he steps back and looks at the mess, rather than take responsibility for his share, his instinct will be to blame you for all of it.

It is the same thing. His reality. You can choose to accept it. Or not.