I sometimes still resent being left to handle everything alone, and I resent my financial situation
Well, who wouldn't? That sounds pretty natural to me.
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I feel...kind of distanced from it all. My life is the kids, work, and building a life I can be proud of.
I think you do a fantastic job of focusing on the here and now. Memories are one thing, but the present is another, and you are in the present most of the time. Again, I think it's natural to drift into the past occasionally, especially when you have ties to XH because of the kids. Overall, though, you are right here, right now, in the wonderful new life that you are creating.
