If my X wanted her and her husband to join me for dinner with my D14 I really would think something was up.

Sounds like he is wanting to force you into presenting a situataion that is OK with your belief system and you are resisting. Since you live in America and you have a choice I applaud your choice. Good for you Mattie stick to your guns.

"All I want is a weeks pay for a day's work"
Steve Martin