We're never getting back together-How do you cope?

[MsMelancoly]

Native - I would not send the letter. I would keep GAL & detach. Too many words, too many attacks.

Onedge - I had a similiar sitch with my H as I had helped him financially before & after we were M. You giving money = her guilt. One reason my H left - was to take care of himself (he's still struggling in debt). One thing my DBcoach said was NOT to rescue. Is your W working? One rule I always had with lending $$ to anyone is don't lend if you expect it back & I will not lend to those who do not help themselves. (Meaning if they are sitting on their bum doing nothing - no money from me).

Maybe it's my harsh mood of late - but it sounds like your W needs to grow up. But I realize she's in a lot of pain. I would lend only for necessities, food, bus money - internet is not a necessity. Sorry, I don't mean that as an attack.

Has lending your W money helped or hurt your sitch? Or has it stayed the same?