You cannot allow him to physically assalt you. Arguing and getting upset is one thing but if it is getting physical you need to put an end to it. Him blaming you for his actions is just wrong. None of us make another person do anything.
Pick yourself up and end all contact with him except for interactions with your kids. I would for the time being stop CC. Apparently it is not working. I would go to C alone and work on healing yourself.
Take care, I am really worried if he is physically pushing you. That is wrong on so many levels.
I'm with Distressed67. I'm not sure what you mean by the boundary being crossed....I mean..I clearly see that your h has crossed a boundary (again) by intimidating you in that way, however, if you are referring to your h saying that you have crossed a boundary, I don't get it.
I'm glad you guys aren't in the same house.
I don't think guys understand how it makes a woman feel when they physically threaten/intimidate their spouse. I know that when h threatened me and pushed me (the one and only time and if he did it again it would be a deal breaker) I had a friend come over and stay for a couple of days. h rang two hours after the 24hr police order expired (during which time he wasn't allowed to contact me) and seemed suprised that my friend was staying there. He asked me why and I said I was scared. He hung up. He later sent me a text saying that if I thought that he would harm me then I didn't know him very well. that p1ssed me off. he had no clue of how I was feeling.
I don't know if there is anything I can advise, I can only empathise and wish calls were free to the USofA.
Hugs to you sexy cowboy hat lady...
** Purple
As soon as you trust yourself you will know how to live. Goethe
Yeah you're probably right forrest....it's the impact, the fallout, the repercussions, the triggers etc that I don't think they understand after the event.
I wish my h would talk to me about it and show that he is sorry for acting that way and take responsibility for his actions. The way I think it is, he is ashamed that he lost control like that and doesn't want to think/talk about it.
** Purple
As soon as you trust yourself you will know how to live. Goethe
I have maintained limited contact... he has self-limited.
He promised if he ever did that again he would be 'done'.
Acting like that crosses his own boundary of acceptable behaviour that's what I was trying to say in my post from yesterday.
He called last night to tell me that and to work out the details of D's custody.
He asked what he could ever do for me to trust him enough to let him back into my life in anyway shape or form... I told him the first thing I needed to see was for him to get into IC and get a real handle on his anger & self-esteem issues.
He shared that the C he saw a year ago, told him that he needed to leave me, since I'm the only one he does this with, that the only answer would be to 'not be around me'. He was not willing to do that.
I'm confused and still numb.
I have spent my morning outside, washed windows, cleaned the gutters on the house & garage, raked leaves, mowed off my spring flowers, planted my fall ones.
I have a family (2nd cousin) wedding to attend today...I'm skipping the wedding (not sure I can handle that ceremony right now) and going to the supper & dance.
Peace Bridge
Divorced 03/2010 Mom to two amazing kids
Taking the road less traveled because those encountered on the way may be just as unique.
Hi Neil, School.. is... well... on the back burner right now. I'm not trying to improve, just remain status quo.
I walk into the room, put on my "isn't life and being a teacher great!?" face, pull a lesson out of my A$5, engage, delight, humour, discuss, play the part.. and leave.
I am still caught up with my grading which as you know can get overwhelming if not kept that way... so that is a 180 for me this term. Of course I'm only 3 weeks into class too!
How about you? Bridge
Divorced 03/2010 Mom to two amazing kids
Taking the road less traveled because those encountered on the way may be just as unique.
He shared that the C he saw a year ago, told him that he needed to leave me, since I'm the only one he does this with, that the only answer would be to 'not be around me'.
Well, I'm not a C but him only doing this to you makes perfect sense to me. You're the only one he's married to! The only answer isn't for him to not be around you, it is to seriously address his need to have total power over his partner, imo. Otherwise he'll just end up doing the same thing with the next person he's with. But that isn't your issue. You shouldn't be taking it on and it sounds like you are, to a certain extent.
I don't know. I don't feel like I can say too much more without appearing negative and anti-DB, but I think you should respect yourself and your life.
I'm glad you have small tasks to take your mind off things. That helps, at least it does for me. And don't worry too much about having to put on a face - we all do it to get through the rough times. If you need time, though, don't be afraid to take it. No sense in being a martyr.
Thanks everyone for checking on me these past few days. It means a lot to me to have you all looking out for me.
Right now I'm at work because my Internet is down at home. just don't have that 24/7 access that I'm used to.. I guess now would be the time to break this addiction right?
good night all Bridge
Divorced 03/2010 Mom to two amazing kids
Taking the road less traveled because those encountered on the way may be just as unique.
