whatdidido: If you let her be your "friend" she will justify all that she has done. She will think, "See, he understands. It was for the best.", "See, we all are fine, and better than we would be if I had stayed.", "See, everyone, how I am a good parent, and how Jeff still respects me? It was the right choice."
I understand. I will be wearing the shorts she likes me to wear, and a tight shirt, at 45 I'm still trim and fit. I will let her see me but will not engage her, There will be plenty to do to keep myself occupied and distant.
She will only be up there for a couple of hours, and in the evening I'm going to take kids home (have a babysitter) and I'll head back up there to meet some friends. The picnic is a block away so we walk up there.
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Whatdidido: It disgusts me a bit how she is intruding on things YOU have planned. She just pops in, gets her "feel good moments", and then leaves....all the time thinking she is SUCH a good mother.
I hear about everything she does, I did this for the kids, I did that, I paid for this and that, I hear her complain about the kids what they did (dirty shoes in the car was the last one) - I don't say anything, nothing about any problems even if I had a hard day, I don't discuss what we did or didn't do.
Thanks for keeping me on the right path, I did think being her friend would make me feel like a door mat. Have to go now, family movie night, going to fold laundry while I watch movie with the kids.
just keep swimming, just keep swimming
W41 M10.75 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 W files for D 07/18/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
