Hi Friends...long time, once again, between updates!
Fearless, I don't know when you will get this...but CONGRATULATIONS!!! That is wonderful news. I'm happy for you both. I love to see a happy ending for wonderful people.
Short update - I am doing a long-term sub job until December. It is very rewarding, exactly what I love to do...and a TON of work! And before I was sure I had a LT sub job, I signed up for graduate classes. I did drop a few, but still have two night courses. It's too much...but I will do what I can do and get through this semester, at least. I am hoping that this combined with my experience last year will be a foot in the door and establish a good reputation with the schools around here...so we will hope and pray for a full time job for next year.
The kids are good. S17 is a senior and slowly becoming human again. He gave me a run for my money in the attitude department in the last year or so, but thankfully has stayed out of major trouble, so I will count my blessings. S15 is taller than everyone else in the family now (that did NOT please his older brother!), and getting ready to get his driver permit. D12 is a lovely young lady who is very social and who is trying to wear too much makeup and too little clothing. She is having her first real crush...Ah, life is good...
I am not dating at the moment. There just isn't time! I am very glad I chose to stop dating the guy I was. It is a big relief - it just wasn't right. I don't feel any pressure to find someone...so we'll see.
XH is still married to OW. I wonder if I'll be saying that in a few years? He and I are going back to court in a few weeks. He had applied to get child support modified, and my alimony is ending (it's been 3 years since D, and I was an idiot who settled!). I have been told to expect an increase in CS since my earnings are very low compared to his, but it won't quite make up for the loss in alimony. Either way, I think he's in for a surprise. He thinks he is going to end support once the kids are out of high school, but he agreed to pay at least the child support amount through college. I don't think he can change that now.
Ironically, our court date is Oct 3 - exactly 3 years to the day of our divorce. Should be interesting! I truly don't have a lot of hard feelings left from the whole mess. I sometimes still resent being left to handle everything alone, and I resent my financial situation, but some of that is my own fault for being too complacent and complient. I don't hate XH...I really don't even hate OW, although we will never be best buddies. I feel...kind of distanced from it all. My life is the kids, work, and building a life I can be proud of. I miss my husband. I have many good memories, and I do miss those days. It's not an overwhelming pain, but a very dull ache that kind of rests in the shadows, and often I think it fades away entirely. But he is not the man I loved anymore - the man who is my children's father does not even remind me of my husband...it's like he is someone totally different, and so when I do see him it is very odd - I feel very isolated from him and not at all connected anymore.
But like we have all said...even though we heal, the long term consequences of divorce, for us and for our kids, is what hurts the most. We can heal, but we still have a whole bunch of S*** to deal with that we just shouldn't have to!
OK, off to read some updates and then I have to pick up the teenagers from the football game. Have a good weekend folks!!!
