I am struggling a bit more today. Everything is reminding me of him and at first I am sad and miss him but then I think of the fact that he has ignored me for 3 days now and I get really angry which then turns to depression when I start to wonder if maybe I was the only one who cared about this relationship from the start. Ugh! I wish he would just get his act together so we could sort this stuff out.
I have just been realizing over the past few days how much stuff he has to work through personally so that we can start to work together as a couple. Not to say that I don't have things I need to improve as well but a lot of these issues need to be dealt with on his side first. Or at least he needs to realize that there are things that need to be dealt with. Does any of that make sense?
I will keep dark for now. It's getting very tempting to text him but I won't. This is almost the only thing I have never done before. Even when we were dating we had fights that led to "break ups" that only lasted for a week or so because I could not stay away from him longer than a couple of days. So I have literally ALWAYS been the pursuer. It's crazy.
I consider this my last 180. If this doesn't work then I will be a lot closer to giving this up.
