I had a great time last night. I really like the people that go.
Addie, I hope he picks it up even just to satisify his curiosity. I highlighted parts that I found interesting so maybe he might look at those parts. Who knows.
I haven't communicated with xh since 11:30am yesterday morning.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
My H said on our joint session that he was feeling better because we talked less and he's contacted more this week than in the last month. My new mantra is "believe the opposite of what they say." My guess is he contacts you within the next 48 hours tops.
-ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
I'm going to interject and I'm not trying to step on amybodies toes Don't put artificial deadlines on things. Suppose we all buy into the idea of XH will contact Jen in 48 hrs. We all get optimistic and hopeful (expectations) then 48 hrs comes around with no contact. Now we are crushed, dissappointed, mad (insert your own adjective her) and now think he is a DAM. We went from positive to negative in a matter of seconds and nothing changed. One of the four agreements is to take nothing personal. Maybe he stopped to help someone, maybe he fell asleep, maybe IDK what..... But now he calls a hour after the deadline he didn't know about, what's our attitude when we talk now? Having this kind of deadlines actually hurts us. In the POW camps the guys who died in camp were the ones who died of a broken spirit, they thought for sure we will rescued by Christmas. Christmas passed, well at least by Easter. They have to come get us by the 4th of July, don't they? See the problem. They didn't control the situation. My sig line is from Adm Stockdale, it's called the Stockdale paradox. It's what they used to cope in the POW camps in Vietnam. The reason DBing works is because all the focus is on us not our spouses. Really hard to do. We want to blame them for all our problems. Just do the work. Cheers ladies.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
I concede Coach. I should say instead that I believe he will not stay dark for too long, that he will be drawn back in by Jen's light. I guess specific deadlines do no good :).
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
You guys are nuts! But thanks for looking out for me. I saw the 48 hours as being positive as in The Secret not as setting expectations as in DB. I know I'll talk to him today...he has D and will have to drop her off
He's not not calling because of darkness. He's this type of person with me. He doesn't call to chit chat and he calls when he has to. I'm sure that if I don't call him though he may wonder what's up because I haven't called to chit chat. Good for him to wonder.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
