The fact that you are even considering it is admirable....
As for me, I can't see a time in the future where the gf will ever be welcome. My kids already know that I can't stand her (hard for them not to now, with her across the street).
My next issue is going to be Halloween - it is his dinner night with the kids, and it makes me sick to think that all of them will be out trick-or-treating. So far, S13 wants to hang out with his friends, not sure what D wants to do yet.
The whole thing is gross.
Six months is really early.... even the article mentioned decades.
What would be best for my daughter? I personally thought my daughter might be uncomforable sitting at a table with dad, gf, aunt, uncle, and me.....but I didn't ask her. Should I?
Yes, absolutely, ask her about her feelings on the matter.
Quote:
I hope in the future I can be a functions with ex and his gf and be at ease. Divorce was less than 6 months ago. I think I need more time.
I think you made a good effort to include the X. If gf was new W then it would have been more of an issue. But she's not. And getting your D's input would be a good idea although now that I think of it, I wonder how much pressure that will put on your D? A struggle between what she really wants and not wanting to p!ss off anyone.
It's a tough gig, but you are doing a good job! AO
Making decisions can be one of the most draining tasks, especially if they are emotional decisions. I look around my office, and see so many unhappy people and hours wasted because the decision was not made, or was made by someone who then felt uncertain. And your situation is so much more complicated than whether a report should be bound or not (yes, really, yesterday, we must have had 8 people spending on average an hour discussing the pros and cons )
My sense is that as D turns into an 18 year old lady, she will be less dependent on her mum doing things to make her happy. She may also need to see the example of her mum living an authentic and happy life. You've done such a great job thus far, I'm sure you will prevail. Even if some days are harder than others.
Mattie, I'm so proud of you for standing strong. You were the host and it is your house it is up to you who you invite into it. Your home is your "castle". As far as leaving it up to you DD who to invite I truly believe she would rather you choose at this time. I believe your H can stand to be away from the "wench" for a couple of hours. Your daughter would not have enjoyed it either if there was tension. I'm sure you three had a much better time spending her b-day the way you did!
I have my first "big" get together soon. DD17 will be on her high school's homecoming court. It will be the first time that both families(mine and husband's) have been in the same place in over two years. Luckily, though it will be at the school so it won't be as awkward as being in a house. Read up on my thread and see how rude my MIL was about DD's big honor.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Yes, a blast from the past. Wow, it's beena long time since I've been on here. I thought I'd check on you.
I agree that you shouldn't include the GF.
We just celebrated my oldest daughters 16th birthday. And I purposely did not invite her mother. Later, when her mother asked her if she was invited, I told D16 to tell her, "NO, she'll have you actually on your birthday and that she can plan a party for you if she wants." Then, I made sure that D16 had the best birthday party that she ever had.
Well, I may start a new thread to let some old friends know what has happened in the last few months.
Hmmm. Should I?
TD
TwinDragon Thread #11-Dragon, flying - evaluating his world.
You are such an incredibly decent person. Like Donna, I'm not sure I could ever see myself welcoming being with my about to be XW and her current a. bf; b. husband; c. anyone else
Boy, he's seemed to have moved on at light speed. I guess they were ready to bail long before we were, and while we were clinging to any small sliver of hope, they were "SO DONE", as my W. so eloquently put it, that it's so much easier for them.
Of course, like your daughter and my kids, they leave a wake of destruction on their crusade for "happiness" and "actualization".
Hang in there. You're a wonderful person! ARMY STRONG, baby!
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