Hey Shiny, I think I did do some dismissing and undermining...but mostly not.
I think the real core of our problem is that we were both wounded when we were young in ways that made us believe, deep down, that we were somehow so defective that we were incapable of being loved. It truly amazes me how very much we are alike.
I know that some people marry opposites and some people marry complimentary people. Some folks even marry others who are a lot like a parent they had issues with.
In our case, we are so alike that we could switch genders and things wouldn't be much different. Sometimes that brings a natural understanding of each other's complexities...but this fear of abandonment/feeling incabale of being loved crap...well, you know the results....you've read both of my threads
