I don't know about anyone saying that we're a success, because I guess it's just all about us going through this stuff at different stages. I think the long-haul stuff will not come so easy for us...changing bad habits in our R, learning how to argue constructively, fighting the urge to isolate and shut down when we feel vulnerable, and communicating better.
I think this particular stage of reconciliation hasn't been as hard as for some folks here, because I never got the "I don't love you anymore" or "ILY but not in love with you" to overcome.
We've still got a long way to go, but...
After we talked yesterday, we came home and just laid in bed spooning. I felt such a lightness in my spirit, and such deep contentment that I knew I'd made the right decision to fight for our R. Now that we are at the point of working on things together to better our R, I couldn't really ask any more.
Ya know, Sage....I was angry too...just like you describe. I thought my partner was acting like a selfish immature jerk who had abandoned me emotionally and would soon finish the job by leaving. I attributed that to thinking he was incapable of committment and was one of those guys who would--sooner or later--cheat and then bail. Some of that anger was justified, but some wasn't.
I can't say he's incapable of commitment now, or that I think he'll bail out.
Anyone can get into a R. Most people marry with now idea of what they are getting into. But...all of us here and our spouses have been tested by fire. We've all chosen to do the HARD thing by rebuilding a stronger, better R than we had before...DESPITE all of queasy emotional rollercoaster rides and the down and dirty hard times that are involved with peicing.
At first I felt like I was a weak fool for wanting my mate back after he'd treated me the way he had and betrayed me. Now, though...I feel like I am brave and very strong to have done this. I feel that ALL of us here are very brave and strong and so are our spouses....Peicing our Marraiges back Together ain't for whimps!!!!
