Baby Steps, Backsteps and Leaps of Faith

[sage]

Tal,

Wow. You've had SO much going on lately! I've been pouring over your posts...this last one amazed me in how closely it resembles my sitch!

He was (as he knows now) very depressed and in a very self-absorbed, self pitying frame of mind. He honestly thought that I didn't love him anymore & that it was "only a matter of time before I asked him to leave".

<snip>

That's it--that's the story. It's an accurate picture of how two deeply insecure people can totally tank a perfectly good R. Understanding what we did does help find the places where we need to fix the cracks in the foundation, because we really screwed up and don't ever want to go through anything like this again.

When my h and I first talked about his a he said "I thought our m. was over...you were so angry all the time". It had never occurred to me that I was sending him "I'm outta here" vibes loud and clear.

When I sit in C. and relate to my C the back and forth my h and I go through, well, it's amazing how clear it comes out that both of us are simply looking to be loved.

Like you two, we took a pretty amazing relationship and ripped it to shreds thru insecurity (and in our case, anger and a lack of communication!).

I love that you and h are really talking about this stuff. You guys are an inspiration.

Sage