waw advice needed I am desperate,!!!

[cotoffgard]

That's what we're all here for - support. What we ask will eventually be what we give back and more.

Just remember, you can only change you, no one else. The wellbeing of your children and yourself should now be your top priority. There's one relationship you can't run away from and that's being the best damned father you can be for your kids. Perhaps a great GAL thing for you to do is to find something new both you and your children can start doing together...kinda like a group hobby if you will. Here's an extreme example (extreme in a sense that I wouldn't be caught dead doing it) that worked for a co-worker of mine. Basically, her family was feeling some strain in the household, but one day her father asked if everyone would try something with him at least once. Long story short and many years later, the entire family is still very active Revolutionary War reenactors. Get my drift?

Whether or not you think your marriage is worth saving, working on yourself by shoring up the holes and flaws you you see within and helping yourself be a happier person inside and out is a win-win situation. If you're genuine about the changes you're making, I believe your wife will start to notice, be inquisitive, and start to make contact (cross that bridge when you get there). If not, then you'll at least be a much more happier, confident, and dignified person regardless.

I know this won't happen overnight. It's perfectly fine to grieve for a period. Heck, I'd encourage you to do whatever it takes to let it all out, just don't do it in front of your wife and certainly not in front of your children.

After that, day one on the road to inner happiness starts...