God give me the patience and the strength...7

[WCW]

I agree that you don't want to think that D is the only option but you cannot and should not just sit and do nothing to prepare for the worst. At least IMO. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

WCW, I know what I want. I know where I want to be. I know what I want for my future. But I have to be realistic. And realistically I will not have that if H and I D. It's that simple. There is no way nor no how I could ever do this by myself. The biggest reason is financial. There is no way around that. The other is I don't know how. I am not stupid, I could learn. But finacially it is not possible for me to stay here.

If staying on the farm is not what you want then don't do it. BUT, if it IS what you want then be like Taco Bell - think outside the bun. Do you have an extra room to take in a person who can pay a little rent and help on the farm? Can you rent out the pasture and the land? Land rent around here is outrageous! Everyone is competing to plant more corn and soybeans for fuel and that leaves the veggie growers in a bind for acreage. Are you enrolled in the 'land' incentive programs? Maybe you've thought of everything already but I know that I get so stuck in 'just doing' that I can't see what is right in front of me. I have to step outside the box and view it from a different perspective. If you don't stay on the farm, what will it cost you to rent or buy something else?

H mood thing is a hard one to learn. I am very very guilty of assuming that if not just H but anyone has an attitude with me or around me that I did something wrong. I feel bad and I want to know what I did or why they are mad. In a way that is a selfish way to think. Life isn't always about me.

Remember this. There is a whole world of things that affect their moods and attitudes. It doesn't always involve us.

Changed my clothes.

Think of the attention you would have got if you showed up in your high heel boots! or this... milk maid costume How's that for a 180? lol. I think your 180 of just showing up and helping was great enough, forget the costume. AND, your H said thanks for helping! On the ride to the vet you didn't have any R talk - right?

Hope your cow day is going well today too.

Huh? "dally" ??

It's a roping term, it means to wrap the lariat around the horn of your saddle after you catch a calf so it doesn't keep running and you lose everything.