Do you have a current thread somewhere, other than that "questioning yourself" one in Newcomers? I'd like to get an idea of your sitch, too. Did you used to post as Just_Me?
No current thread. And yes, I used to post as Just_me. Phoenix was the original name I had when I came here. I started a new account when my wife looked on here and read all about the trials and tribulations of Phoenix.
Quote:
I am finally just now starting to feel more relaxed and less anxious, which has made a tremendous difference too. I will be thrilled to get to that point that I think either Jen_Jam or SDFoundGirl described as "no longer scanning the skies for bombs"
I don't think there is harm in "scanning the skies for bombs". Well, some, if it's interfering with your ability to have a normal relationship. I become complacent when I'm comfortable. I stop thinking about what I've done to show my wife I love her and just do my own thing. I don't look for bombs, and I don't fear bombs, but I am concerned when I consider whether I'm holding up my own end. I think it's hard to consistently make a conscious effort to love your spouse without thinking about what he/she is doing or not doing for you. Did I hold up my end of the duties? Did I speak her love language today? Did I go an extra step this week (ie backrub or something else she likes) to do something nice for her? It just gets so easy to just 'be'...know what I mean? And it gets very easy to fall back into old ways of dealing with disputes/arguments.
But I'm rambling. You probably know all that. But as a guy, I would like to say that even when a guy's heart is in the right place, a lot of times we just don't think to keep wooing the women we love, even if we do. We are good at reciprocating though. It takes very little of my love language from my wife for me to feel the need to do something sweet for her.
I'm glad things are going well for you.
Me
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
