Hey Pam. We had a long talk on the phone last night about the job sitch. He says it wasn't bothering him to work with her before, as their shifts only overlap by 2 hours, she works in a different area, and hasn't tried to talk to him since he told her "stay away, it's over and I want to try to work things out with Tal".
He has been able to simply ignore her existance, and go on with his work oblivious to the fact that rumors are running rampant and she is scheming to get someone else fired so she can work the same shift in the same dept. as H. Now, he can't ignore it anymore, and I think he's very bothered by it too.
One of the things I told him that I worry about is that continued rejection of her leaves him in a vulnerable position. If she felt like it, she could manufacture some charge of sexual harrassment if he took any actions to counteract her scheming.
What was very cool about this conversation with him was that he referred to this several times as "our problem, not just his problem or mine". He said he's working on changing a mental habit of always thinking "I and mine" instead of "We and ours".
I think I was so shocked by this that I didn't really respond, but when he comes over today, I want to really let him know how much it means to me that he's working on the "we as a team/we as partners" thinking. What a huge difference that will make! Over the years, I have often been very hurt by a lot of the things he's said as though he had very little sense of "we".
His "we" thinking led up to him asking if I wanted him to take a different job right away. He's been offered one, but didn't jump on it because it is slightly less pay and he'd lose seniority. He had also wanted to get his foot in the door of working in an ER, so he didn't follow up on the job offer. He's pretty sure that the opportunity is still there.
That might be an option. Something to think about anyway. I read up on your great 180's in your thread. Figure out what works and keep doing it!!!
