It ended with me going to a status conference with the judge and ending up having the divorce decreed right then and there. W cried, held my hand while we were waiting, hugged me tight, but still went through with it. She wanted me to call when I was ready so that we could be friends. I told her it'd be a long time, probably never. We said goodbye.
She called me the next morning. I ignored the call. She left a message saying she thought she saw one of the cats over there and wanted to make sure they were okay. Sleeve-tugging has been her mode of operating - another example? I'm glad I didn't bite.
Work is crappy. I'm taking the fall for some things and getting a type of demotion. Maybe it's better, I'm not sure yet. I'll go along and see how things work, and if it doesn't work for me or my pay is cut, I'm outta there.
All this has swirled around in the last few days to shove me towards closure. Also to re-examine who I am, what I'm doing, and where I'm headed. How sad that I don't have a better idea - it's time to figure it out.
You could be waiting for a day that won't come, And you could be so much more than you've become. And I have found my feet 257 weeks, But you could be waiting for a day that won't come... You could be waiting for your life to begin, And you could be so much more than you've been. And I have found my feet 257 weeks, You could be waiting for your life to begin, And it's so sad, You're so good and I'm so bad! But you won't see me wasting the best thing I've ever had. And it's such a shame, That I can't tell you anything! You won't hear me still you endear me now!... Hard to see the window facing forward looking back, Over years spent tracing wondering how you left your track. Underwater breathing burns your lungs and breaks your back, And you could be waiting right here for a day that won't come... And it's so sad, You're so good and I'm so bad! But you won't see me wasting the best thing I've ever had! And it's such a shame, That I can't tell you anything! You won't hear me still you endear me now!... You could be waiting for your life to begin, And you could be so much more than you've been. And I have found my feet 257 weeks, But you could be waiting for your life to begin... And it's so sad, You're so good and I'm so bad! But you won't see me wasting the best thing I've ever had! And it's such a shame, That I can't tell you anything! You won't hear me still you endear me now... Still you endear me now!...
