There is no doubt in my mind that I would still have had my children. I love them so dearly. They are my life. On the other hand, it rips my heart out everynight...as I watch them warm, asleep, and their chest moving up and down ever so slowly....that this is happening to them. If it weren't for them, and if I hadn't found DB, I would have 'thrown my W out' a long time ago. I stayed in this as long as I could...for them. The thought of not being there with them, in the morning, to watch cartoons and pour milk on their Cocoa Puffs..is a pain that I could never put into words here on your thread.

If I didn't have children, I would have left this world feeling empty..unfulfilled....and feeling like I hadn't left something behind. I've wanted a family my whole life..in some ways....I think...to undo or do over what my father failed at.

Having children..or even a child....DOES make life more challenging, and, I agree with Jeff. Adding a child onto a marriage that is in piecing (or..? leaving and moving forward?)...well, I agree that it behooves you two to go for that proverbial long walk. It makes no sense to start a family...only to have it broken...if the foundation is not totally shored up. JMO.

On the positive side, even tho' I am approaching a big BD next year, I would have a third if I could. Doody diapers don't daunt me.

FIB

Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;