You know the one thing even though that part of my life is falling apart I have no desire to drink, thanks for the support and actually I slept pretty good last night I just wanted to know the truth I really believe that I could wait a year to talk to her and things wouldn't change she is the type when the going gets tough just bail out I was warned about her, when I talk to her I really don't even know her her voice is different and it's like she enjoys it, and yea that guy was right she's not looking at me I am obsessing, at this point I am done and really it is ok when the time is right the right one will show up I have a strong faith in God and He has got me through so much in the last month it's almost like what's next? She doesn't share the same belief I do otherwise there would have been forgiveness and she would have supported me through treatment, but that is where God wanted me alone with only Him to rely on. It's funny how our minds can fool us into believing things when actually things are quite opposite. The way she went cold so fast without any chance of reconciliation there has to be something wrong, she did the same thing with her first husband and he didn't do anything wrong, she had an affair on him and he wanted to still make it work (not with me by the way, with another married man) she has wrecked at least 2 marriages so far how could I be so blind, I just don't want to even like this person anymore, I left my 1st marriage for her, was a drummer in a Baptist church that I had to give up, did damage to my children that I don't even know, whent against all that I believe in, up till the time we had our affair I was sober 13 years ironic part when we hooked up I started drinking and stopped going to church, now that we are done I stopped drinking and went back to church,, God definately has got my back..................it helps to write this it makes it more clear to me that this woman was bringing me way down.
