I also want you to seriously think about no longer ML to your husband until he ends his relationship with the OW. Who knows what diseases he could possibally be bringing into your marriage bed? I hate to say that, but that is became a stark realitiy to me the past few weeks. Besides....what message does that send him? That he can ML to two women and they both are fine with it? Something for you to think about.
Sara, I'm glad YOU said that. I make that appeal with almost everyone I post to who chooses to continue to ML while their spouse is wayward, and people think I'm just being a paranoid hard-ass.
There's nothing funny about STDs, and -- almost by DEFINITION -- wayward spouse's affair partners are VERY highly likely to have something.
I also think ML weakens the betrayed spouse's resolve, and makes it much harder to emotionally detach and do some of the tough stuff that's often necessary.
