Thing is, because he lives closer, she sees him a lot more now than she sees me. She still calls me numerous times a day and I'm always the one she calls when she has her melt downs but they hang out and have fun. I wanna do that rather than the comforting, drying the tears, offering advice. We used to hang out and almost wet ourselves we'd laugh so hard. Not lately and I miss it. And, I've offered weekend getaways but she either has to work or is hanging out with worthless BF. Another icky story!!!
Jill, this is a hard thing to understand and even a harder lesson to learn. I had such resentment for so long b/c my daughters seemed to want a R with their dad. And me...on one hand I sort of wanted that for them but on the OTHER hand, I was sooooo hurt and angry that I hoped they'd damn him to hell forever! But now I see that isn't healthy. It took me a long time to feel that way but it finally came to me. And I know they're much much closer to me than they are to him but they love him...he's their dad. They have anger issues with him and probably always will but they do love him and I understand that. And actually I want them to love him...NOW. I didn't always.
Jill, K comes to you when she needs something...love, support, someone to listen to her. With her dad she has fun. Who do you honestly think she's feeling closest to? You. B/c YOU are the one who's there for her no matter what. She knows she can depend on you. And sometimes that's frustrating but it's b/c we love them that we do what we do. Where would we be if we didn't have our kids? I can't even begin to imagine...
So when she says she's hanging with dad, having fun...just remember, she is having a superficial R with her dad. I truly believe the only real R she has is with you. I know that's true of my girls, even though they love their dad. They're much more open with me and much closer to me.
