Here I am....real life and all.

[Starshyne]

I haven't talked to xh all week. He hasn't been calling, which is good. As much as I desire to be friends with him, I know that right now it is too much for me. Last time I talked to him, he asked if I would like to come over and see his new apartment. I told him no. I can't do that....it hurts too much. I am trying to heal.

I find myself on such an emotional roller coaster at times. Today I felt bitter. No reason why. I got this card in the mail at work that had my marriage name on it and I automatically took a pen and scratched it out really hard. I am not sure where that came from. Most days it doesn't bother me. Today it did.

My birthday is coming up. I remember last year xh was going to paint me a picture of the Beatles for my birthday. And that picture sits in my basement right now. George's face is not painted. The rest of the picture is done. But H quit the painting to have his affair. I should get rid of it. It is sitting there, like I expect him to come home and finish it or something.

Half of xh's stuff is still in my garage. 2 full months after it was supposed to be out. I want my garage back.