I keep feeling like I am never going to be good enough for him and it makes it hard to "focus on me." I don't even feel worthy of that right now. I always seem to think about him and D13 and how what I do will benefit them. I can't even think of the first thing I would do for ME that I enjoy that wouldn't cost too much or interfere with their life.
Hi, Mo! I used to be like that too, felt like I would be selfish if I did stuff for myself or spent money on myself. Focused about 90% on my kids and maybe the 10% left over on H and nothing for me. But then your self-esteem is horrible, I was depressed and not a good mom for the kids. I am much better mom b/c of GALing. Everything I do is free or really cheap. I auditioned for a musical and did that, taekwondo (at the Rec Center for $10 a month.) The local rec center also has step aerobics and yoga, also $10 a month which I want to try. I volunteer a bunch now: a political group, my church, and the theatre, which of course is free. I jog with my kids and dog. We have a virtual movie club here where we went movies once or 2x a month and watch them together (well virtually), and then chat online after. Visit kat's thread if you want to get on that!!!
And the truth is, he is not good enough for you! He has helped you to lose confidence and not reassured you it seems in any way. That is not cool. He should be thanking God every day that he still has you!!! Karen
