Dang, this was not a great weekend. Deep breaths, ok. Thanks again for being there for me Pan and Shiny.

Talked to H when he called from work last night. Told him I'm not doing very well with this whole thing about the rumors. He said he's not doing very well with it either. He thinks that it's vicious and intentionally hurtful, rather than just gossip.

I told him who gossip guy was and asked if he knew any reason gossip guy would want to be hurtful to us. H can't think of a reason why. He wanted to know how I would like him to handle the situation.

I want to know where the stories are originating from. I strongly suspect that Butt-Ugly is the source. After saying that, H agrees that she is the only one who would have any motivation to cause trouble for us. Since his R with her, he has found out some very nasty things about her that he hadn't known and now wouldn't put such a thing past her. He says he's still actively job-searching, but wishes she'd just go work somewhere else, move away somewhere so I don't have to deal with this crap. That's nice to know that he says that's how he feels about her these days!!!! So....we decided that H will confront the guy and ask where he heard the story from because we want it to stop.

If Butt-Ugly is spreading this garbage story, we are looking at some ways to deal with it. We are beginning to plan something that I would love to do to her--that is if H can pull it off with a straight face!!!! Anyway, it's a huge relief to try to face this as a team.

We did have a long talk about the whole trust issue. He knows that it's going to probably take a long time. I told him that he can't just do thing on HIS terms all of the time, that he needs to listen to what I say I need for trust to be rebuilt. I said if he can't live his life like an open book to me and have a policy of being completely honest about anything I should know about, then I think he needs to be single and not try to be with me.

I told him that I feel that I have a RIGHT to know if he's lying and/or cheating and I will excersize all options to find out the truth if my intuition starts throwing red flags all over the place.

He says he knows I have the right to check into things if my intuition tells me to, and that he has respect and awe of my intuition--as it has been dead-on so far.

So--I guess right now, I'll use my Indian Nancy Drew skills on dealing with this gossip crap instead of H.