It DOES sound bad when you put it out there like that, Tal.
But how does this sound? A friend of mine was married for 10 years to her perfect match...out of the blue he asks for a D...then stays and "tries", says there IS no OW, no A...then OW calls...he supposed to be moving across the country for her, has plane tickets, OW sends e-mails and photos of them together...
My friend talks this SOB into NOT going...not having to commit to her, either...just take it day by day
He says he wants to work on the M in C. My friend weeps with relief....things seem to be getting better...Then OW calls AGAIN....A has been ongoing the whole time, nearly 8 months by then....Does my friend kick his sorry A$$ to the curb? NOOOO she takes him back. Idiot, fool, gullible...ME!
What these second hand descriptions leave out, Tal, is the heart and soul of the PEOPLE, the couple involved. The instincts that serve us so well at times, and the demons of doubt that torment us needlessly. Which of the two is guiding you? Have you taken some time to sit with yourself, do some meditation?
YES it's time you two had a full talk about the A. Your H should (but probably doesn't) realize that the time for him to be in that power position of what to reveal is over.
I would find it very difficult to have CJ working in vicinity to either OW! I keep forgetting that part of your story when things are going well for you.
When you open the book on the A, so to speak, Realize that you may not think of everything all at once. I asked stuff for some time. This WILL be painful to H. Who likes to remember shameful things? It WILL be painful for you...have you thought about what you want to ask...(I'm sure you have!!).
