Thanks for being there for me Pam. I am having a very hard time right now. One of the things that keeps going through my mind about the gossip was that Girlfriend's mom told the guy that she KNEW who he was talking about and that she knew the guy's wife very well.
The gossiping guy said that his supervisor that was having the A said he didn't have "a wife, just a girlfriend" . Girlfriend's mom said that we'd been together for going on ten years, had raised our kids together, owned a home together and that doesn't qualify as "just a girlfriend".
Gossip guy then stopped talking and said he was afraid that if this story got back to the guy having the A, that he would fire gossipy guy.
My biggest weakness is my temper. I get hot about things from time to time, but when I get REALLY pissed, I go ice cold and single-mindedly calculating. It is a rage that only jealosy/feeling betrayed can take me to and I become like Arnold S. in the Terminator. I came very close to murder during the first month or so after I found out about the A. My kids and a few good friends had to practically SIT on me to keep me from homicide.
I hate to admit it, but that is what I am feeling like right now. The thought of going through all of this, only to find out that I've been suckered bit time is enough to send me into major search and destroy mode. I hate to admit it, but I'm now back to snoop mode in a way that would make many of the other people on these bb's feel like they were in the presence of a professional snoop that the CIA would love to recruit.
I am trying so hard right now to control myself, but this is a part of my make-up that truly terrifies me.
Please say some prayers for me over the next few days. If there is ANY truth to the gossip, I WANT to know. If there is any truth to it--my H will be dead to me...figuratively if not literally!
