THOUGHTS ON BUTT-UGLY OW's:
I've heard from a lot of men about how the visual part is much more of an aspect of their sexual response. Given that, I seriously wonder how my H could have warped his vision enough to have sex with such a truly homely woman...much less have had an EA with her!!!

I don't think about my looks much, but people tell me frequently that I am very pretty and have a great body. H tells me that he thinks I am very beautiful and "exotic looking" and is still very physically attracted to me. I get a lot of comments about looking like Irene Beddard (if anyone has seen the movie Smoke Signals, she's the Native actress that Victor and Thomas go to see in Arizona after Victor's dad dies). Either that or people tell me that I look like Cher (I never feel like that is really a compliment).

I notice all the time that men stare at me, get crushes on me and follow me around like they are puppy dogs and I am wearing bacon for perfume. ESPECIALLY the non-native guys who have some vision in their heads about "Indian maidens" or some-such. I'm tall and slender and well-proportioned.

I have always felt very uncomfortable by these comments and the attention. I often feel resentful and exposed when guys look at me or follow me around. I don't give a dang about what anyone besides my H thinks about my looks.

I try and try to figure out what the heck H could have possibly been attracted to in OW!!! She's got fuzzy carrot red hair, deathly pale white/blue skin and it looks like someone took all of her facial features and smashed them all together in the middle of her face! I can't see even one aspect of her that he would be physically attracted to! I wonder if he had to dress her up in lingerie, high-heels and put a bag over her head in order to have the "two attempts and one partial-success" that he had in trying to have sex with her.

I know I'm being a bit catty, but if you gave that comedian Carrot Top a sex-change and badly botched plastic surgery.....

Personality-wise, she's also a lot of the things that my H doesn't have much respect for.

What you guys have said here about butt-ugly OWs make a lot of sense, but I still struggle with "what the HECK was he THINKING!!!" and "how COULD he have???" and feeling embarrased for him!

All I can figure is that he was enamored with being able to go to her quiet little cabin as opposed to coming home to a family & house full of teenagers. Aside from that---her feeding his ego so much must have made him deaf and blind.

I'm so confused about how THAT could have been my competition.