Yesterday WAS a rollercoater ride that felt like the early days after the bomb.
My logical brain tells me that the gossip doesn't make sense. I don't think H would be doing all of this work in individual counseling and MC--moving back home & starting to plan this wedding if he were still involved with fuzzy-haired albino coyote ugly woman.
My intuition hasn't been sending up any red flags either. My intuition is a very devloped part of me. When H began EA--I definately KNEW something was wrong, but couldn't quite put my finger on it. I felt that H wanted to leave me, but wasn't quite sure why. When EA became PA, H became somewhat less distant with me, but my alarm bells were going off all over the place. Little things that didn't fit. Very specific dreams.
How many betraying spouses can say they got busted because their medicine man ancestor kept coming to their betrayed spouse in dreams and SHOWING her what was going on! I mean even to the point of showing me what OW looked like! I think PA was only about 3 weeks in when I confronted him about all this. How's that for a way to get busted and never feel like you could get away with such a thing again?
He should have known that my gifts were strong enough to see through the lies. He should have known, after all these years that there is a very strong connection between us on a spiritual level--and breaking that connection would come at a very high cost. That's one of the big things that made me choose to try to work on this R. I don't want to have to face my Creator and say I was to bitter and proud to try to take better care of the gift we were given.
