WCW, I know what I want. I know where I want to be. I know what I want for my future. But I have to be realistic. And realistically I will not have that if H and I D. It's that simple. There is no way nor no how I could ever do this by myself. The biggest reason is financial. There is no way around that. The other is I don't know how. I am not stupid, I could learn. But finacially it is not possible for me to stay here.
H mood thing is a hard one to learn. I am very very guilty of assuming that if not just H but anyone has an attitude with me or around me that I did something wrong. I feel bad and I want to know what I did or why they are mad. In a way that is a selfish way to think. Life isn't always about me.
H had appointment today to take the calves here at home to the vet. Tomarrow the vet comes out to the other place to do the rest. (Remember I am petrified of the livestock). H called this morning to have me set out a pair of gloves for him. I asked if he was doing them by himself. He says "well, ya". He always does. I didn't say anything. I came home early. Changed my clothes. And went right out to help. I didn't ask I just started in. He first looked at me like what the hell are you doing here. Neither of us said a word. He didn't even ask why I was home from work. I got right in with the cows/calves and helped. He asked if I wanted to ride with so I did.
He came in for a minute afterwards. He was pretty tired and grumpy so I didn't say much. He told me thanks for helping and left for home. Hopefully to sleep as he still has to work tonight and tomorrow will be a long day again.
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
