Husband's Missed Oppotunity #2

[S.T. _I Made It!]

I was wrong about when the problem started....it was earlier.


H "when did you start taking zoloft?"

B "how do you know that?" already, you were defensive

H "the insurance company sent information about it to me"

B "my doctor said I should take it because after the baby was born I felt overwhelmed with the baby, bills, the divorce and had some signs of postpartum depressions." this answer is just fine

H "why didn't you tell me that you was taking it.

B "I didn't think I needed to and why would I? What? So, you can be all proud of yourself for putting me into a position where I need to take an anti-depressant just so I don't cry every morning and every night?" this was the wrong answer and caused him to backfire on you

H "He said he doesn't care, as long as it doesn't interfere with my ability to raise our daughter." I'm actually surprised that his response wasn't worse than this

B "I asked him what does that mean?"

H "think about it. You're a UCLA graduate. Depression leads to abandonment."

B "I did say that he could benefit from some medication, sometimes."

So, he starts eluding to the fact that because I'm taking AD's, I may not be able to take care of K well enough. Now, I'm pissed. But, I remain calm. I just said "I did this FOR K. So I could take care of her better." this was a good response, and would have been good if stated above when he asked why didn't you tell me and you could have stated that if you thought you couldn't handle her care, then you would talk to him about it

So, IMO, your H asked you a warranted question, but you took offense to it, and you reacted. Had you not reacted that way, and just took it as is, that he was concerned for K, then we wouldn't be talking about it. I cannot say for sure that he is not trying to look for something to get at you, but the more you react to him, the more he WILL use things against you (as it's very possible the OW is encouraging that).

does that make sense? I'm sorry, I just always look at things from another angle, and I want people to understand from another's perspective.

hey, maybe you should have asked him if HE was depressed? I'm just kidding. I