Sandy, I hate to say it, but your opportunity to do something differently than how you've done it before, may not come until he tries to come back to you yet again, and this time we'll handle it MUCH differently (more on that in due time). As you've stated, correctly, you have no way of guaranteeing that he will do this, but I'm pretty sure he will, especially if he sees you moving on and going dim on him.
So for now, let's focus on YOU, and on NOT being available to him or responding to him, unless it's about your daughter. Do nothing to make him feel OK about what's going on, or normalize things. If he says "I'm sorry" (and he will), say "I'll see you Tuesday," or "I'll have D11 call you later," or whatever -- do NOT say "that's OK" or anything even remotely resembling it.
What would you say is your husband's biggest fear?
