We seem to have gone throught the similar turmoil of not knowing when our wives were coming back from the bars. Both our wives seem to be addicted to the attention of other men. I also believe that you are sticking it out like I did because of you hold your vows highly and of your committment to keeping your family intact. Very noble and honorable.
I agree with the others in that you dont need proof. Your W knows she is having an affair and the lies and secrecy are a big part of it. It would be nice if she would fess up, but then that would be the end of the fantasy secret life.
You should see an IC to help as a life coach. When I saw one, she helped me to set a date for when to say enough is enough. That all changed for me when my W included the kids as part of her A. I struck hard and fast by filing and got a protective restraining order in place.
Since filing, there was a lot of times that and it seemed that W was giving serious consideration to coming back. I somewhat think the biggest mistake I did was talking with too many friends and family about our troubles. I believe W thought that on top of regaining my trust and faith that she would be faced with regaining all the others trust and faith as well. Too big of a mountain for her to climb.
If you did not have kids, would you have filed by now?
You are taking the right and moral path. Strength and Honor - strength to do the right thing even if it hurts you and honor to always do the right thing.
