I knew that was coming. I was not planning to see the kids just call them. That is one of the goals is I have been drinking to much. This was the first time I drank and did not live up to my commitment to D11. That hit me this morning and where the re evaluation came from. I agree that I do need my wits about me right now.
Thanks for stopping LIS. I do have to go out and be the best that I can be. Look our for me and the girls and keep fighting.
Quote:
Make no mistake -- THE STORM IS HERE. You can push thru it, or you can let it consume you.
That it is. I am sure that it going to get a lot worse before it gets better.
Last edited by yenko69; 09/18/0802:49 PM.
A warrior does not give up on what he loves, he finds the love in what he does
Make no mistake -- THE STORM IS HERE. You can push thru it, or you can let it consume you.
That it is. I am sure that it going to get a lot worse before it gets better.
Yes, but not always. It's the LENGTH of the battle that I'm trying to get you to be aware of. It is PROTRACTED, and there's a reason they call this "The Rollercoaster." I see flurries of resolve from you, followed by apparent quitting, and I'm saying that will never work with this type of situation. IT'S A LONG HAUL, either way (divorce or reconciliation).
I don't mean to be preachy about your drinking -- that's up to you. Just trying to see you keep your wits about you. You will NEED time with your buds, and some diversion, every week. Just everything in moderation.
I am more aware of the length of time then I was before. I have been reading on here more then I have. I am reading from all the forums. I am also going to read my goals everyday along with a couple other things and stay focused.
My W called a little while ago. She could not find the insurance card for her car. Talked a little about SD16's birthday coming up. She said she was worried about me since I did not go to work today. That if I ever needed to talk then she was there for me. That I need to be more open. I told her I was more open. She said that you shut me out. I told her we needed to talk sometime soon. She said it scared her when I tell her that.
Then I told her I was going to get my own lawyer. She asked me why. I said that I needed my own advice. She said that she had the appointment with L tomorrow and that we had settled everything. I just said that I pretty well agree with everything and just want to get all the details taken care of. Then she said that she was going to look stupid if I change things. I said I would never try and make her look stupid. She said that my L would then.
Somewhere in there she said something about me making her stay in the house. I told her that was up to her. She said that it would not make sense to pay rent on two places and a house payment and that I would not move back in so she could move.
Then there was some emotional response from her, not sure what exactly, when she said she had to go.
Still working on what all to say tomorrow. Any advice would be great.
A warrior does not give up on what he loves, he finds the love in what he does
No the D is not what I want and it won't be as easy as she thinks. It is amusing how the same script goes around. To bad there world can't be the fantasy that they are living in.
I called D11 tonight. My W answered and I asked if she was going to be there tomorrow to talk. She said she was. She asked why I needed another L when we had pretty much worked through everything. That it would be cheaper and I could get the same advice from one L. I said I just wanted my own advice on things. She asked again if I was changing up a bunch of stuff. I told probably nothing major. She asked what minor things. I said I don't know I want to get my own advice on things. At this point she was getting pretty angry.
The next thing was are you going to blindside me. I said no. She said I was a bad liar. Then I said is D11 available. She said that I can't even defend that. I told her (calmy) that if she thought I was a liar then anything I said after that would be a lie. That if she thought I was a liar then this conversation was pointless and over, that I would talk to her tomorrow.
I talked with D11 who was flipping irritated. She was pretty annoyed and did not want to talk much. She finally said I love you and got of the phone. Got to love the pre-teen girls. She has been extremely troublesome and mad at my W over this whole thing. I do know that this is wearing hard on her. I am keeping her tomorrow night and taking her fishing Saturday morning with my dad.
I am going over to talk to my W in the morning before IC. If your look towards KS tomorrow you may see a mushroom cloud exploding. I got the script down and I don't think it will go over well. It is for the family's own good and I have to save the girls, myself and her for the decisions she is making.
Last edited by yenko69; 09/19/0801:57 AM.
A warrior does not give up on what he loves, he finds the love in what he does
Never be scared to do the right thing. I have survived the fallout a few times already and expect more. At first I was scared sh**less, but not really the case anymore.
Be strong. This is a marathon.
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
She said I was a bad liar. Then I said is D11 available. She said that I can't even defend that. I told her (calmy) that if she thought I was a liar then anything I said after that would be a lie. That if she thought I was a liar then this conversation was pointless and over, that I would talk to her tomorrow.
Damn, that's pretty good, Yenko! I laughed out loud at that one. SO TRUE!!!
Funny thing about fear it is not really an emotion I get very often. Doing the SRT thing I am the one going through a door first when it is busted open, confronting someone or having to use the means necessary to make an arrest their is not any fear. With my W though it is a whole different thing. I guess I just have to shift my viewpoint of her to be able to do the right thing.
Puppy,
Glad I could make you laugh.
A warrior does not give up on what he loves, he finds the love in what he does
I can agree to that. No fear elsewhere, just pissing off the W. Another blowout with D11 a little bit ago. W tried to start a fight and I was not playing the game. Post it later though off to bed.
A warrior does not give up on what he loves, he finds the love in what he does
